The Cunning Count Olaf Composition Contest
Honorable Mention - Mrs. Nagle's class, including: Rick Campbell, Amber Cefalu, Olivia Fahey, Trevor Franda, Dan Graf, Jack Harmsen, Tom Shafer, and Emily Wirth
Ages 10
Pewaukee, WI
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The Baudelaires were driving peacefully in their taxi with Kit Snicket when a flash of light illuminated the night sky. Out of the corner of his eye, Klaus saw the words, “Hotel Denouement.” “Stop!” he exclaimed. The taxi screeched to a halt. “What?” asked Violet, Kit, and Sunny. “There’s a poster back there,” Klaus replied, “But I didn’t get to read it all. It says Hotel Denouement.”
They unloaded from the vehicle and walked back to a street lamp. Kit shone a flashlight on the poster. It read:
The Hotel Denouement Proudly Presents:
“The Delightful Doctor”
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Lemon is sweet,
And so are you.
Old King Cole was a merry old soul,
A merry old soul was he,
He called for his pipe,
He called for his monkey,
And he called for his fiddlers three.
Georgie Porgie, pudding, and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to honk,
Georgie Porgie ran away.
“Poemsubtalk,” said Sunny. “You’re right, it’s Verse Fluctuation Declaration!” exclaimed Klaus. He removed his book of poetry from his coat pocket and quickly scanned it. The poems revealed the words “Sugar-Bowl-Play.” The Baudelaires were astonished to learn the poster’s true message.
On Thursday afternoon, the taxi rolled to a stop outside the Hotel Denouement. The Baudelaires were filled with great anticipation as they entered the hotel. It looked like a normal hotel. “Meeka?” murmured Sunny, which in this case means, “This looks just like any other hotel.” At the lobby desk was the V.F.D.’s insignia. “Tap the pupil of the eye three times,” Kit whispered. Violet carried out the instructions. “Friend or Foe?” groaned a speaker above the eye. “Friend!” they cried in unison. “Password?” it creaked. “The world is quiet here,” proclaimed Klaus. A small hidden door creaked open as the Baudelaires and Kit stepped inside. “Eilio!” cried Sunny. They found themselves in a large auditorium. Rows of seats covered in red velvet faced the stage. A large banner read:
To Be Presented at Precisely 3 p.m.
“The Delightful Doctor”
V.F.D. Members Only
They began to descend the long aisle. “Hello, Baudelaires!” hissed a familiar voice. A tall, skinny man, dressed in a doctor’s uniform, looked down at them. “Olaf,” whispered Sunny under her breath. “Oh, hello sir. How did you know our names?” Violet inquired. “I’ve seen those dreadful lies the Daily Punctilio wrote about you.” “Olaf!” Sunny exclaimed. “What did you say?” the doctor asked quizzically. “Did you say ‘Count Olaf,’ the arch enemy of the good side of the schism? We’ve been trying to find him for years.” “I’m sure he doesn’t even know about this place,” Klaus quickly replied.
“Well, you better find your seats. The play is about to begin!” stated the doctor as he began to walk down the aisle. “Oh, and by the way, I’m Dr. Falo – the doctor in the performance,” he called over his shoulder.
The Baudelaires and Kit took their seats. The lights dimmed and a hush fell over the crowd. “Welcome all V.F.D. members to our production of ‘The Delightful Doctor,’” the narrator announced. “Now let the show begin!”
The crowd roared as the narrator walked off the stage. Dr. Falo entered the stage along with a patient and the performance began.
“Oh, no!” groaned the woman. “What’s wrong?” asked Dr. Falo. “I have a terrible case of the hiccups,” she said.
“Klaus,” whispered Violet, “Doesn’t that patient look like Es ---- ?”
Violet was interrupted as Dr. Falo shouted; “There is only one cure for this poor woman – sugar! Dear me, I am out of sugar. Can any of you tell me where the Sugar Bowl is?”
“Oh, I know! I know!” a man said, “It is hidden in the café alongside Briny Beach!”
The room was filled with gasps. “OLAF!” Sunny shrieked once more, but nobody heard her over the noise. Dr. Falo slyly announced, “We will now take a short break.”
“Hurry, we don’t have time!” Violet exclaimed. “That was Olaf and he is going to steal the Sugar Bowl! What do we do?”
“Stakeout!” Sunny yelled. “Good idea, Sunny!” they all cried in unison. “We’ll get there first; take the Sugar Bowl, leave a note saying it’s in the Gorgonian grotto, and lead him on a wild goose chase!” Klaus explained. “Yeah,” everyone agreed. “But to beat Olaf, we must leave immediately.”
They anxiously piled into the taxi and they left for Briny Beach. It took the rest of the day and night to get back to the beach.
As soon at they arrived at the café they began looking for the Sugar Bowl. After a while, Klaus found a bowl inscribed with an eye. “I found it!” he yelled triumphantly. Everybody came to look at it. Klaus tried to conceal the bowl as Count Olaf burst through the door with an evil grin on his face and a gleam in his eye. The Baudelaires and Kit looked at him in horror. Olaf saw the bowl and said, “Gimme that!”
“Never!” yelled Klaus trying to stall him long enough to secretly handed the real sugar bowl to Violet in exchange for a regular sugar bowl off a nearby table.
“Give it to me now!” Olaf yelled. “Fine,” Klaus said, “here it is.” He handed the bowl to Olaf. Olaf quickly took the bowl without noticing that it was not the real Sugar Bowl. “I’ll be back for your fortune Baudelaires – just you wait,” he called over his shoulder as he departed. “Just you wait!”
The Baudelaires sighed with great relief when he had gone. “The V.F.D. sure could use all of you as members,” stated Kit. “Why don’t you come with me and join the group?” she implored. “ I think that would be a wonderful idea,” said Klaus.
The Baudelaires and Kit drove peacefully away in the taxi – it was a Very Fortunate Day!
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